whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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