One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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