she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Quick, to the slutcave!
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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