My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You are the jesus of drinking
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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