another moral hangover. fuck.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
