I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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