I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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