It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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