Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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