you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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