Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he thought i was a dude.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
