What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
