talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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