Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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