i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
