Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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