dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Randomize
