So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
