so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
