She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
These tits shall not be calmed
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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