Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
