Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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