your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
