The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
