...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
