I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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