i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
