Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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