Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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