i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
