eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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