This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
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