The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
