Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
