I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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