there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
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