i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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