I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
