You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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