even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
