how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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