i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
