I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize