I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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