Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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