I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
