Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
