we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
