textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
