I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
