First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
