I like my sex mixed with concussions.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize