i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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